STORIES OF ALCHEMISTS: SOPHIE FROM DESTRESS LAB 

In Stories of Alchemists, we interview inspiring women who have taken a step back from their day-to-day life to reflect on what’s really important to them. With passion and purpose, they are now following their heart’s desires. 

This past year we met Sophie van Aanholt, who runs Destress Lab, a meditation platform. We spoke about her past and how she got the idea of starting Destress Lab. Sophie has worked in the finance field for over 15 years, and during this time she experienced burnout. Even after recovering from this, she noticed that her patience would run out easier and she just wasn’t enjoying life as she used to. This was the point where she decided to do something about it. Describing herself as hyperactive, she never thought that meditation was for her. In her search for inner peace and freedom, she did a Vinyasa yoga teacher training, and then came across a meditation training in Santa Monica that she thought was the perfect fit for her: simple and accessible. 

“I grew up with my parents and sister in the south of France. I have ADHD, but back then we didn’t know that. For them, I was just a child with a lot of energy and I was lucky that my parents found a way to channelize that energy. They encouraged me to find a way I could use that energy, in sports, so I could focus on other things, like school. I had quite a religious education, which opened a door to spirituality for me. And as both my parents were ex-pats in a way, it triggered the need to leave my hometown too. Now, whenever I go back to France, I feel at home; when I go to Greece and Cyprus – where my grandparents were from – I feel at home, and here in the Netherlands I also feel at home. I’m more of a world citizen than belonging to a certain place or country. I receive from every place I visit and also leave a little piece of my heart everywhere. There are good things everywhere, no matter where we are, and it’s great to discover them. Of course, there are always things we don’t like, but once we get over the point of acceptance, and surrender ourselves, we start to appreciate things for what they are. That goes for almost anything we do. When we start something new, we often experience some kind of resistance, and it comes in many forms. When I moved to the Netherlands it showed up as getting used to the weather, the different mentality, and customs. Now I find that the Dutch are so down-to-earth, effective, and direct, which creates space for freedom. I love it.” 

“I start my day with meditation. It is my home. It’s not the dream-like idea of meditation, but meditation adapted to real day-to-day life, with two young kids. My teacher, davidji, is the founder of the RPM technique: Rise, Pee, Meditate, and Beditation. At the moment, that’s the easiest way for me to create space for my morning practice, and I think it can be for everybody. When you get out of bed and start getting into the motion of the day, into the doing of things, chances are we’re not going to stop and sit down to meditate. So, I start my day by sitting in bed against my headboard and I meditate for 15-20 minutes. For me, it’s really important to have an intention and to ask myself: How do I want to feel today? What’s intention will my heart carry for this day?

I have two young children, and they can challenge me sometimes. I have to repeat things ten times because they’re looking for limits. Of course, I’m not perfect, and I do get angry sometimes too. But now, when I feel it coming, I remind myself of my intention: Okay, today is going to be about being calm, finding a connection or feeling love, or whatever I chose in the morning. It creates space for me to take a breather and choose a mindful reaction. 

 This works with everything and certainly with ourselves. It’s about creating time and space to listen to ourselves, not ignoring that we’re tired or hungry or hurting. When I practice yoga or meditation, I do it to practice self-love and not to achieve something. See, the line here is so thin because of course, I want to improve my practice, but I need to do it from a place of love and not to force my body into doing something. With meditation, I’ve learned to observe myself, my internal dialogue, and the energy it creates. This changes everything. This may sound a little woo-woo, but it isn’t at all. It really is physics. Everything is energy, even our thoughts.”

“I’ve had many! I have an epiphany every day! [laughs] You know, one of the biggest things about meditation is that it’s so simple. No need to sit cross-legged for three hours. It’s simply taking a moment to sit down and create some space and silence. We all have an inner-self, intuition, but we can’t hear it without space, without the silence. Meditation has seriously changed my life, and many people I meet now have no idea I have ADHD. Like many people, I used to run the whole time, feeling stressed and rushed. I had a busy job, multiple appointments, I wanted to go to the gym, and I wanted to be present for my children. When I got stressed, my children became stressed too. I’m guilty as charged. So really, carrying this intention to create a moment of stillness and silence, I was finally able to slow down. That’s when the shift happened. It made me understand that whoever I had been until then, wasn’t going to bring me where I wanted to be. I needed to create the change, and space and silence allowed me to feel what I needed. My intuition guided the way to this new version of myself. Everyone has their own way of doing that. For me it’s meditation, for others, it can be walking outside in nature. But it’s about cutting out the noise, and especially the noise that is inside our heads.” 

BESIDES SITTING DOWN FOR MEDITATION, IN WHAT MOMENTS DO YOU APPLY YOUR PRACTICE?